Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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