Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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