woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize
