is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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