A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
