I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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