I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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