the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
