it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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