listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
