Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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