weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
