What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize