do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Randomize
