it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
