you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
