would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
