What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
