what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
