the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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