I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize
