just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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