just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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