then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
