Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Can Purell be used as lube?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
