My hand turned me down
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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