do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
