we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
