Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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