if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
