i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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