Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
