i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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