I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
