You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
