i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
