just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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