are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
