I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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