I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
