he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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