i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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