so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
