I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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