I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize