Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
