I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize