So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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