She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
