Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
