I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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