it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
