i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
