What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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