careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
