his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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