i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Enjoy the penises
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize