It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
