i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
